By Jane A. Malkoff MSN RN NP
(Part 1 of 3)
Crisis breeds action. Where is our copy of our will? I think we did Living Wills too when we saw that attorney several years ago but I will have to find it. Who is my POA? Well, I think it is my husband? Yes, it is my husband, but is he able to do that now? Who should be our POAs and Health Care Representatives now we are older and having some health issues? Home care assistance costs how much? Will Medicare pay for that? No? Oh my. Where do I get that kind of money? I did try home care once while I went to see my sister and they did not show up as promised and the caregiver they sent was not knowledgeable with his disease. Who can I trust to care for my loved one? What do you mean he is being discharged from the hospital today and doctor says he needs 24-hour care? What nursing facility is best? The facility options near us will not take him! Why won’t they? What do you mean he is being released from therapy? You told me last week he would likely be here in therapy another four weeks so I am not ready. I have had no time to prepare because I have been with him every day. It is $250 per day to be in a semi-private room in a facility without Medicare coverage!! Medicare only covers what? Are you kidding me? Why is he so sleepy and not eating? A medication was started without my knowledge? Didn’t the notes from the hospital tell you he does not tolerate that drug? There is no MD to see him while he is in this building? Not progressing in therapy? So what if he plateaus. I don’t want him to lose all of his strength. I wanted him to be able to go home again. How can I try to get him home again? You want a 30 day deposit of $8,000 plus one month? He will eventually need a Medicaid bed. There is a waiting list of how long? Why are you acting like I am the problem?
Trying to take a well thought out action step while your hair is on fire is challenging to say the least. Yet, that is what many amazing individuals are stepping up to the challenge to do each and every day as they help a loved one in need.
For instance, Sandra was planning a life of leisure, travel, and more time with her grandchildren when she and her husband decided to retire. She had looked forward to this period in their lives for many years, and so it began. However, not long into this wonderful part of her life she noted some changes in her husband. After a year of discussing his health with their primary care doctor at his scheduled appointments and ultimately being referred to a neurologist, a diagnosis was made.
Sandra and her husband spent the next year going to various doctor appointments, attending physical therapy appointments, picking up prescriptions, learning about the diagnosis, and trying to get back to “normal”. As time went on, Sandra had a difficult time keeping up with her own appointments for her high blood pressure and for her exercise group. Each year after that became more challenging with less time and ability for their retirement dreams. As her husband’s condition progressed, he became less able to care for himself and Sandra became exhausted. Their children stepped in to help as much as they could.
Sandra realized quickly they had never considered planning for this type of retirement. In a moment’s notice she went from a dream plan of relaxing into her retirement years to being a full time caregiver without a plan for what to do next. The demands were overwhelming.
Sandra said, “Thank goodness for Clarity Care Advocates!”
(Watch for Part Two of what happened next with Sandra.)