By Jane A. Malkoff MSN RN NP

There are only so many self-help books we can read and motivational speakers we can listen to before the realization hits we have to take matters into our own hands in order to get results.  However, it can be nearly impossible to see what action step to take when overwhelmed.  Most of the individuals I meet feel overpowered by the care and planning needs of a loved one.  These are not the sorts of problems where results are conducive to the slow read of a how-to book or a weekend get-away to hear a favorite speaker.

In this fast paced world, we can all use a little help developing a knack for gaining perspective so we can get on with a life well lived with less stress and burden.  I hope the following simplified list will provide at least a handful of immediate useful ideas.  If followed, results will occur.  Start with sticking to just two of the thirteen tips then add one at a time as you instill the new habits.

  1. Communicate with friends and family.  Realize other people have problems too. You are not alone.
  2. Ask for help from others.
  3. Keep your problem in perspective. Will it still be a problem in 6 weeks? 6 months from now?
  4. Think of yourself past the stressful event.  (Example: I’ll be out of this doctor’s office, classroom, etc., in 30 minutes)
  5. Exercise.
  6. Write your problem down. Pretend it is a friend’s problem. What would you recommend to them?
  7. Realize you can control your own reactions by controlling your thoughts.
  8. Focus on positive things in your life.
  9. Give up perfectionism as a goal. Strive for excellence instead.
  10. Don’t procrastinate. Stress increases as deadlines approach.
  11. Realize that no one can make you feel guilty, ashamed, or angry unless you agree to it.
  12. Be honest.  Express your own opinion openly.
  13. Walk in a quiet place.  Listen to soft music.

If you are having a hard time, I suggest choosing #7.  It is a wonderful challenge but once in place it is a game changer.  Here’s to the First Annual De-Stress Day!