Jane A Malkoff MSN RN NP
Each of us has either been a caregiver, is a care giver, or knows at least one person who is a caregiver. There are currently an estimated 18 million people in the US providing informal, unpaid caregiving services through in-home assistance to a family member or a friend. Surely, this is proof there is more than one star in our solar system!
Formal caregivers are also frequently encountered in our daily lives. As an example, the certified caregivers in the nursing facilities across the US. There are approximately 15,600 skilled care facilities in the US with 1.4 million persons occupying the 1.7 million available beds. There are approximately 600,000 certified caregivers providing the direct care in the residents in these nursing homes.
Nourishment is a necessary ingredient for all of us and likely even more essential for these shining stars. Who we are as people can be witnessed in the quality with which we take care of others. If we are not currently caregiving we can care for and nourish the caregivers around us. How can we nourish another? Nourishing requires more than the quality of food we eat. To nourish means to provide the necessary components for health and growth.
There are many people, organizations, books, magazine articles, and social media posts giving pointers on caregiving, the associated stress, and how to cope. It is already overwhelming for caregivers let alone having to sort through the now big business marketing approaches directed toward them. Let us make it simple. If we do nothing else, let us focus on providing the caregivers we know with the 3 primary gifts of nourishment.
- The Gift of Listening. Advise a caregiver only when asked for advice. Listen without need to interject, console, or give feedback. Only through listening can anyone be heard. When opening the opportunity to listen, consider initiating the conversation in ways which do not net the result of the answer “fine” as in, “How are you?” or “How are things going?” Instead, be present, suggest you have known others who did care giving and recognize how difficult it was for them. Suggest a time convenient to share their difficulties. Give space for a conversation to begin.
- The Gift of Time. Offer to sit with the care recipient while the caregiver takes a break. Pick up supplies for the caregiver which allows them to have fewer tasks to manage. Offer to visit with them at their home and bring coffee or tea and some snacks and have conversation on mutual interests.
- The Gift of Assigning. After listening and giving the gift of time become the list maker and list keeper for the caregiver of all the things on their to-do list they would not be required to do. Create a circle of friends to tackle these items routinely and ongoingly. Consider, for instance, watering outside plants, preparing meals once per week, attending outings with care recipient and caregiver to help with the burden of going out, locate and screen for the best home repairs, drop by once a week with favorite specialty coffee, take the dog for a walk, order groceries for delivery, sweep the front stoop, place mail inside the front door, etc.
Caregivers are those who experience a specific, unique, and profound type of stress. Caregivers experience an elevated level of unpredictability and lack of control over many situations they are accountable to manage well. Consistency in day to day life is often lost which makes planning for personal time, physical activity, meals, and sleep much more difficult.
Let us figure out a nourishment plan and put it out there for the caregivers in our lives.