By Jane A Malkoff MSN RN NP
Fad: “An intense and widely shared enthusiasm for something, especially one that is short lived and without basis in the object’s qualities; a craze” (Oxford Dictionary).
With the hype all around us promoting self-care and self-help that we find in books, social media posts, podcasts, television programs, and more, we can understandably become saturated and unsure about which advice, if any, to take. This super abundance of information can certainly lead us to a feeling of numbness toward the concept of caring for ourselves even to the point of ignoring great resources on the topic. This is not unlike how we might ignore any temporary fad or a craze when up to our eyeballs in important life responsibilities.
This is worrisome considering there are at least 18 million family and friend caregivers out there like us who endure the effects of prolonged selflessness as part of their caregiving roles for a loved one. Many of these 18 million do not sustain the care giver journey to completion due to their own health conditions often worsened by the lack of attention to self. How much of this is due to putting the self aside because of believing the short term diversion from self while caring for another will eventually pass with no harm done along the way?
However, adding to the saturation on this topic is not the true point of this blog. The point here is to be alert to the effects of information saturation, so we do not become complacent where and when it matters most and to draw attention to self-care being necessary and not a cultural craze.
What care receivers need most from care givers is exactly the same thing care givers need most from themselves. which is for the care giver to take their personal care very seriously and not dismiss it as one might a distraction or fad. When we are remarkably busy and filled with information overload it is important to adjust our perspective away from only the accomplishment of the tasks at hand for the benefit of another to awareness of the most vital component of accomplishing those tasks well for another. This component is self-care-as-a-habit.
While self-care can mean different things to different people such as adding a support member to our team, exercising daily, getting regular health check-ups, staying connected with friends, saying yes to help, elevating food quality, sleeping more soundly, or permitting less than perfection in ourselves, it truly ought to be primarily understood as essential. Self-care is not a fad. Self-care is an essential, customized endeavor.
Essential: “Absolutely necessary; extremely important” (Oxford Dictionary)
We could consider this equation to help reduce saturation and get to the nitty gritty:
Quality Care of a Loved One = Self-Care = Essential